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English
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Wally Nichols is an advice columnist for a regional upstate paper. It's not exactly advice, though- at least not in the 'Dear Abbey' sense. This is up on a soapbox/ bully pulpit material that is sometimes salty, sometimes very funny, sometimes clever, sometimes humble, sometimes appreciative, sometimes observant. This is a collection of the best 50 over 3-year span. They are all short enough to read in the John, the bedroom, or the beach.
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Are you worried sick? If not, maybe you should be. Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And, a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bona fide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday...
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This is a collection of humorous and sometimes not so humorous columns and essays regarding Carter's life growing up in a small, rural southern Georgia town, his years as a blue-collar worker, and being a husband to his wife of thirty-four years and a father to his two sons.
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From night-driving over the Sierra Nevada mountains in a torrential rainstorm to water trough repairs that go alarmingly awry, from cowboys hooked on soap operas to livestock miscalculations that wind up on national television, Dave Stamey, singer-songwriter, humorist and curmudgeon-in-training, offers a collection of stories, essays and observations about surviving in today's rural American West.
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A baby book with a grown-up twist.
Since babies don't understand a word being read to them, why not give their weary parents a break with some laugh therapy and commiseration? In this clever incarnation of a baby book of new words, the art is baby oriented, while the text is grown-up hilarious: "This is a house. It's a lot like the one we had to remortgage to pay for your daycare." Of course, as a baby book, it has to end sweetly: "These are mountains....
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Once upon a time Fairy Tales were wild and thrilling. Then, the Great Appropriator, riding his steed of blandness, tore them from their dark, mysterious homes and transplanted them to his bright, sterile studio where he bathed them in Technicolor, painted big eyes on their faces, and made them sing sappy songs. No longer did Cinderella's sisters have their eyes plucked out; no longer was Snow White's stepmother forced to dance in heated iron until...
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Unparalleled tall tales and heroes wander freely through this collection of John Gould's "reminiscences" of life in Maine. Here you'll find stories of unlicensed Maine guide Flint Johnson and his group of Yankees and Red Sox ball players, the time L.L. Bean invited the whole town of Freeport to help him choose the best ax, and Gould's grandfather's claim to have fired the shot that started the Battle of Gettysburg.
Gould does not wish his memories...
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An A-to-Z treasury of dumb, disastrous, and hard-to-believe human behavior from the New York Times-bestselling author of “Stupid History!”
* A doctor's actual diagnostic notation: The patient is married but sexually active.
* "Shooting Reported at Firing Range"-The State, Columbia, South Carolina, August 4, 2006
* Arrested for public urination in Bowling Green, Ohio: Mr. Joshua Pees.-The Sentinel-Tribune, Bowling Green, Ohio, September 5, 2001
From...
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Description
In the Fall of 2013, at the urging of family and a few friends Cal Seybold wrote a small book of some of his youthful escapades in the Army during the 1960's. The booklet was published locally by him and given as Christmas gifts to family and a few friends. He called the booklet, "May You Live in Interesting Times: My 1960's", and it covered his time as a second lieutenant of Infantry during a tour in Korea and two tours with the Army Special Forces...
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The ruling council of hell directs Truman Capote to fetch Dr. Harry T. Biffeldorf, PhD, Professor Emeritus, Political Science, at UC Berkeley. It's time to call in his IOU. "Now this is really elegant. See, hell isn't really so much a place as it is an institution to be preserved. Actually, we registered with the IRS as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation. We promote chaos theory." "Huh?" "Oh, come on! You're the only person in all of eternity who gets...
91) The Thesoddy
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JD Peterson introduces a lunatic epic poem parody of Homer's Odyssey that occurs on a distant planet called Orn. This tiny planet, hidden in a corner of our (or some other) galaxy, is a subject of modest debate among Earth's xenohistorians. Only a select few on Earth (individuals who prefer to remain anonymous) know much about this planet, and researchers have discovered a rich body of Ornian literature that seems to have had a significant influence...
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Christmas is an ethical and political minefield. Luckily, this survival guide contains valuable advice on how to navigate the hazards of the holiday season.
Learn how to...* launch a scathing dinner table takedown on your woefully unwoke relatives* craft your own sustainable decorations that bring festive cheer without compromising the 2050 Paris Agreement* splurge on Black Friday without propping up the neoliberal capitalist agenda* build a body-positive...
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'What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow... All I can suggest is that, when you get tired of reading "the best hundred books", you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change.'
A book of essays and observations by one of the finest humorists of all time, Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow has remained a classic since it was first, published in the late nineteenth...
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As its cover suggests, The A to Z of Being British is an acerbic take on the state of modern Britain.
Funny, insightful and ever so slightly non-PC, the book is split into 70 alphabetic sections. It covers a range of topics from the generic (e.g. democracy) to the specific (e.g. Jeremy Clarkson) and from the perennial (e.g. Wimbledon) to the very topical (e.g. banks). I'm very fair in my criticism, being equally disgusted with everyone and everything...
95) Imponderables
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Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Which fruits are in Juicy Fruit® gum?
Why do people cry at happy endings?
Why do you never see baby pigeons?
Pop-culture guru David Feldman demystifies these topics and so much more in Why Don't Cats Like to Swim? the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's most perplexing questions. Part of the Imponderables® series, Feldman's book arms readers with information about everyday life from science, history,...
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In this wonderful parody from 1940, W.C. Fields announces his candidacy for America's highest office. He offers sound advice on a number of topics in classic Fields-style humor in his attempt to win votes. "Campaign resolutions are no better than New Year's resolutions," he writes. "They are thrown together hastily at the last minute, with never a thought as to how they may be gracefully broken. Now, I am a candidate with years of experience breaking...
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This book is a parody of different types of things and various types of people you will find in your local gym everyday. If you have ever worked out at any gym you have seen one or all of these things and people at one point and time. Get ready for a good laugh. This illustrated guide will touch on everything from A to Z.
98) Not Daffodils
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English
Description
The first poem I remember writing was school work at the age of ten, about King Canute. The teacher, I think, felt like the King, unable to hold back the tide. The stanzas, like waves, kept coming. Later, English was my main subject in which I got a Degree. However, I chose to teach juniors rather than English at a higher level, perhaps fearing frustration? If anyone asked me the question they asked Mr. Chipping, I would have answered as he did Hundreds...
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What is absurd, ridiculous, random, and downright hysterical? The inside of Timmy Boyle's mind. If laughter is the best medicine, you will be healthy for months after reading Inside Timmy's Mind - a collection of insanely pointed and laugh out loud funny accounts of everyday life, as seen through the eyes of Canadian up-standing comedian Timmy Boyle. Inside Timmy's Mind was not written to enlighten you with life-changing secrets or to bombard you...
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